Life Isn't Like the Movies
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Caroline talks about Stalking, Violent Assaults & Abuse
I live in the beautiful North East of England, surrounded by countryside. It’s where I’ve built a life with my family, whose love and support mean everything to me. Some of my favourite moments have been riding horses with my daughters and grandson, simple, joyful times that bring us closer together. Our home is also full of energy thanks to our dog, who’s endlessly affectionate, always into something, and constantly keeping us on our toes.
Outside of family life, I find real comfort in making handmade chocolate truffles, something we’ve come to call ‘House of Truffles’. It began as a way to calm the mind and switch off from the noise of daily life, and over time, it’s become a small ritual of care. The process itself in choosing ingredients, focusing on each step, and creating something thoughtful, helps me to slow down. It’s a quiet way to show love, whether that’s through giving to others or simply making space to breathe.
Professionally, my background is in social housing and community safety. Working on the frontline gave me a clear view of how complex and layered people’s lives can be, especially when dealing with domestic violence, abuse, stalking, and other forms of harm. That experience stayed with me and eventually led me back into education.
I’m now studying critical criminology and zemiology — the study of social harm. My particular interest is in domestic violence and aggravated stalking, moving forward through PhD research. I want to better understand how systems respond to harm, and how they might do better.
This space is a way for me to bring these parts of my life together — not as an expert, but as someone who’s learning, reflecting, and trying to make sense of the difficult issues that affect so many. Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Driven
My journey towards tackling domestic violence began early. From a young age, I knew I wanted to work in this field. I believed becoming a police officer was the best way to make a real difference. But little did I realise how much my socio-economic background, where I grew up, and who my mum and dad was would count against me. The stigma I faced made me see things differently, it pushed me to understand the wider structures at play and to recognise who is able to access services and who is left to endure social harms without support.
That experience shaped my outlook and motivated me to explore the root causes of these inequalities. It’s why I’m so passionate about looking beyond individual cases to the bigger picture of how society responds to harm.
Joining the Police Cadets as a teenager was not just a youthful ambition, it was a conscious step towards making a difference in a cause close to my heart. Today, I work as a subject specialist adviser on stalking, violent assaults, and emotional abuse. Every day, I am driven by a determination to go beyond the surface, because that is often where the real answers lie.
Through my work, I have the privilege of training professionals, hosting a podcast, and speaking at events across the world. These platforms allow me to bring important conversations into the open and share different perspectives on how we can create meaningful change.
My aim is simple: to ensure that marginalised victims receive the recognition and support they deserve, a safe space where they can share their experiences and feel truly heard and understood – because I didn’t have this.
resilience
My career and studies are deeply influenced by my personal experiences. It all started when I worked as a barmaid and encountered a stranger who began stalking me. This was the beginning of a long and difficult journey.
It was my job to smile. It was my job to be polite. It was my job to provide exceptional customer service. It was my job to encourage customers to spend, enjoy their time, and promote sales, all while navigating various interactions, even those with whom I didn’t really like – IT WAS MY JOB!
Now, after three decades, I’m still grappling with the impact of his stalking. Despite taking legal measures, the person continues to disrupt my life. The fear I had has turned to numbness, a form of conditioning oneself to accept this fated life. My stalker can appear and sit two tables away when my husband and I are out for a meal, or lurk in the garden center as we select plants for our garden.
My story is not unique; it’s historic, but not unique. As victim-survivors, we seek to connect, raise awareness, and advocate for changes and acknowledgment.
If you’re looking for someone remarkable on topics of stalking victims and perpetrator dynamics, you just found her!
Passionate
My experiences led me to study a BA (Hons) Critical Criminology Course that has given me understanding and context and fuelled my professional life in social housing and community safety – soon I will be a social scientist with so much to do to challenge social harm.
I’ve been honoured with numerous awards for my contribution to LearningSkills, coaching and mentoring and my mission now is to bridge the skills gap between lived realities and professional understanding.
My efforts aren’t just about my experiences; they’re bigger than that. They’re about raising awareness and understanding of what stalking is, how it impacts victims and survivors, and advocating for changes to create safer communities for everyone.
Please join me in virtual meetings, ‘Lunch & Learn’ sessions, and workshops to help build a future where no one has to endure what we and many others face daily.
